sickness and parenthood (warning!! in-depth description of illnesses; beware!)

Have you ever longed to see mucous pouring out of your child's nostrils?  No?  Well, okay, I understand--that's a pretty strange, and disgusting, thought.  But to be honest, there are times when I feel like it would be such a great relief to see that.  My almost-three year old is once again sick but showing few signs.  Yesterday he was acting super strange and not eating much, but otherwise no signs of an "illness."  Finally by last night, he had a temperature, but that was still the only sign (minus the lessened appetite--which happens to him fairly often anyway because he has ketotic hypoglycemia and his body gets confused about whether it's hungry or not...).  Sometimes in parenthood I find myself either longing for or enjoying the strangest things.... (Those of you who aren't parents might not understand this--so please don't pass judgment until you've had kids of your own!!)

For instance, there were days when Elijah was doing really poorly medically, with lots of seizures and strange stuff, and I just wished he'd have an abnormal EEG.  In hindsight, I think that's absolutely insane, since it would mean nothing but more testing and more issues, but for some reason then, it seemed like at least it would be something--some kind of tangible evidence that there was a problem with my son.

I also distinctly remember being thrilled on the inside the first time he threw up.  I remember it vividly--I was nannying at the time and was driving my two charges along with Elijah back to their house after a karate lesson for the oldest.  Elijah threw up in the van (THEIR van), all the way in the back seat.  Normal people might be devastated--shocked and embarrassed that their child threw up in someone else's vehicle, and also overwhelmed by the extreme clean-up necessitated afterwards.  But me, heck no!  I was like, "AT LAST! Something I know how to handle!"  I think cleaning up his throw up was one of the most rewarding parts of being a mom so far....  It was one of the first mom-problems I actually knew how to solve.

I'm still not sure whether those kind of bizarre thoughts are just a part of parenthood, or if maybe I'm just crazy and my experience is totally different than others.  (Feel free to chime in here!)  I do know for sure that parenthood is not at all what I thought it would be.   I have become much stranger than I ever imagined I would be--and I think I have my children to thank for that.