betrayal

Have you ever felt like you were betrayed?  Either by someone or something...?  I find that I sometimes put it on myself--I expect something, but then when I get a different outcome, I feel cheated and angry.  And other times I am just being far too naive and let people cheat me--like, when about 8 months ago a young girl and her "brother", along with her "father" came for a "fundraiser" for "cheerleading."  (Notice the parentheses....????)  Right.  Well, I was so excited to help them since I had done so many fundraisers myself, being in band and all, in Middle School and High School.  And even though I RARELY buy fun things just for me (since we don't really have the money to do that kind of thing), I thought I would make their day by giving them $10 for a candle.  Oh the joy it brought me knowing I could help them out!

And oh, the anger I still feel at having been cheated out of my ten dollars!!  Okay, so, I suppose there's still time for them to get that candle to me.... I mean, it's only been EIGHT months.... I was only very pregnant when they brought it and now have a SIX MONTH OLD DAUGHTER.... Right...  Guess I shouldn't assume things.....

But anyway, I was feeling betrayed this evening because I decided, for DH's and my 4th anniversary, to make a special meal.  I had never had potato gnocchi before, but it looked super yummy and I was prepared.  I had been eyeing the pictures for weeks now and making sure I had all the ingredients.  I did a quick skim of the procedure and looked up what to do if you don't have a potato ricer on hand....  I felt so prepared.  And seriously, I was actually starting to make the meal at 4:30(pm)--I almost never have my act together that early in the day. ;-P

"Simple Potato Gnocchi"

That's what it said.  "Simple."  Does that word mean something to you?  I think I might have some inaccurate associations with that word because when I think "simple" and meal prep, I think, this won't cause me angst and make me wish I had never started this process at all.  There certainly have been meals in my past that have made me feel that, but "simple," no, surely a dish that has the word "simple" as its first descriptor couldn't be such an entree. Nope.

And yet, there I was, at 7:30, still minutes away from getting the meal on the table, thinking to myself....

SIMPLE?!?!  SIMPLE!?!?!  Three hours later and you call that SIMPLE!!!??!?!  My legs hurt from standing by the counter for the last three hours barely moving; my skin is down to its final layer because of how many gazillion times I had to wash potato off my hands; my counter is a mess and my sink is full of dishes that I won't have energy to wash until tomorrow; my children are ready for bed; my husband was ready for our anniversary dinner by candlelight over an our ago, and to top it off, I'm ANGRY that the recipe said SIMPLE!!

Okay, so, again, maybe it was MY fault.  What was I thinking?  I do have this problem with deciding to make new recipes on the worst of days, but seriously..... this is crazy.  And of course, while in the middle of the process, I realized that it even warned me (in small font, of course) by saying something like "prep time: 2 hours"--which is an already woefully underestimated number as far as my culinary skills are concerned.  As much as I want to be a good cook, I'm really not at all.

So, is the moral of the story "look before you leap"??  Is that it?  Don't give money to strangers (duh...) and don't make recipes that say "simple" until you look at the prep time and know for sure it's going to be something amazing....??  Hmmm..  I think the real issue is me.  How can you overcome your problems when you ARE the problem?