I have a new idea about how to make money. I've been thinking for months about ideas to make a little extra income. You know, help pay for hospital bills, trips to visit family, etc. I got a great idea today: auction off days with Elijah. No, seriously! Here's how I'd advertise....
"Need a confidence boost? Need someone to tell you what they notice about you without judging or dismissing you?? Do you need things said to you with a smile and a chuckle? Well, I have just what you need! Just moments with this tender and loving hearted personality and you'll come back for more. You'll walk with a bounce in your step and head held high. Don't underestimate the worth of this package!!*"
*Comments such as "I like your shirt" are likely and the repetition of this phrase does not devalue the package. The verbalizing of such a comment even when addressee has no shirt does not mean that the addresser meant it in jest. While smiling and laughing is probable, buyer must be aware that crying and frustration is not unlikely as well. You will need to "come back for more" without option, as the package may not be left alone unattended. Buyer will most likely walk with a bounce in step due to landing on misplaced toys or other child play things. It is suggested that the buyer hold head high so as not to be the receiver of any blows to head by blunt object thrown by child. Do not underestimate the extreme cost of such a small package in regards to meals, clothing, diapering, catastrophic messes, and any other unforeseen cost not mentioned above.
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