Home Alone

My husband had a stomach pain for a couple of days before being rushed to the hospital--turned out, his appendix was inflamed to the size of his thumb.  (Reference point: the appendix is usually about 4 inches long and maybe the width of a pen.)  The hospital worked fast and smoothly to remove it within hours of his diagnosis.  He stayed in the hospital overnight and then came home the next day.  His time at home recuperating has given me enormous insight into differences between my husband and I.

I loved having a large family growing up, but I always cherished the time at home alone.  That rarely happened, but when it did, I treasured it.  Still today, if I ever get a day at home without the kids or husband, it is a treat.  It's like a day to do-what-I-want.  I would use the day curled up on the sofa watching movies or TV shows, eating all the junk food I wanted.

And so, projecting my own wishes on my husband, I originally tried to avoid being home as much as possible after his surgery.  Instead of being delighted, he was disappointed.  He told me that he'd rather I be home more.  As far as I was concerned, this was ridiculous.  Why on Earth would he prefer two whining, troublesome, rambunctious children to be home just so he could remind them that he couldn't play with them or get very near them?  And for my part, I didn't realize how difficult it would be to have my husband at the house in body but not in assistance.  I hadn't realized how often I relied on him to pull my 11 month old away from an outlet full of wires or help my 3 year old on the toilet when necessary.

It still confounds me as to why he'd rather us be home than away.  I think that my best dreams are spent imagining myself home alone with nothing to do but enjoy the peace and quiet that actually exists in my house without the rest of my family--choosing my own activities and eating whatever I want without questioning.  This whole situation with my invalid husband has moved me to wonder what his dreams are.....obviously, I've learned they don't look like mine.

To start with, he obviously feels like being home with the family all day while recuperating from laparoscopic surgery is not only possible but preferable.  These are definitely not emotions I would share in similar circumstances.