When Exhaustion Makes Thinking Too Hard

Here's a little play-by-play of a good portion of my day...

FIRST: We find the huge "Toyota" sign signifying that we've made it to our destination and follow the "Service" sign to get to our appointment.  It seems a bit strange that as we round the bend, following the sign, there seems to be no clear entry area for a vehicle OR a person.  Nonetheless, I drive on.  Slowly.  Creeping.  Looking around as if I were lost. (Mostly because I was.)  Just before a line of garages, full of cars getting worked on by men in "Toyota Nation" shirts, there is a sign that reads, "Service 200 Yards ahead."  Strange sign, I think. But oh well. 

We squeeze into a parking spot just barely big enough for our car.  Forget about opening the doors wide enough to unbuckle and lift the children from their seats, it's more of a pinch and maneuver and desperate attempt not to scratch the cars on each side.  Finally we're all out.  Me and three kids and ALL THE STUFF WE NEED TO SIT IN THE WAITING AREA OF A SERVICE STATION FOR HOURS ON END.  No problem.  Now I just have to figure out where in the world we're supposed to go because there is no obvious signage.

A man walks over and says, "Are you looking for the service area?"  Why yes, I am.  "Sorry, you got all your kids out, but it's actually through that fence and up across the road there."  Say WHAT?!?!  You have got to be kidding me.  I look at him with desperation.  With empathy, he looked from me to each of the kids and said, "let me go put this paperwork where it goes and I'll drive your car over for you and you can walk there."  Yes, please and thanks.

He comes back five minutes later and drives my Rav4 to the service station a good half a mile away while we saunter on over, trying not to get run over by the other dozens of cars that seem equally as confused as we were (but who were smart enough not to park and get out before asking where to go).

THEN:  The "service station" was full of hallways and glass rooms and people, but again, no clear signage.  I really wanted something that said, "COME HERE FIRST."  Too bad I didn't find anything like that.  We walked around at the pace of a 3 year old who has no interest in his current endeavors, slowly passing each person and waiting area, wondering where in the world we were supposed to go.  We walked the entire length of the building before I decided we must have passed wherever we needed to be, so we turned around and walked back, at an even slower pace.  Finally, I decided to ask the cashier.
          Me: Hi!  We parked in the wrong area and a kind gentleman helped to drive my car over here while we walked.  I can see my car in the service area, but I have no idea where I'm supposed to go.  I'd like to touch base with someone about what I'd like done to the car.
         Cashier:  You need to drive your car up to the service area and the porter will come out to meet you.
         Me:  Yes, I understand that's the way it's *supposed* to be done.  But, as I said, someone ELSE drove my car here for me and so I was unable to talk with a porter.  What should I do now?
         Cashier: Do you even know this person who brought your car?  Where did they put it?  You need to go out and get your car.
         Me: No. I don't need to go out and get my car.  It's in the right area where the cars need to be to be serviced.  The man who dropped it off told me that a man named Nathan is handling it now and it is all set to be serviced.  I just need to talk to this person.
         Cashier.  Okay.... let me look you up.... what's your last name?
        Me: Bratt.  B-R-A-T-T.
        Cashier: I don't see you on here.  Are you sure the car was dropped off here?
        Me:  Yes.  Absolutely sure.  I can see it outside.  I just need you to tell me where to go now.  I think maybe the man who dropped it off said "Nathan" was taking care of it?
        Cashier: (rolling eyes) Well, Nathan is in that first room to the left.  You can go ask him.

Meanwhile, baby strapped to me in a carrier is getting fussy and my 3 and 4 year olds are running around playing with toy planes and asking loudly about how that shiny red car got into the building.

AT LAST:  We get situated.  We talk to Nathan.  I give him the information.  We're good to go.  We find a children's area.  Frozen is playing on the big TV and we're the only ones in the room.  Perfect.  Sit down.  Relax.  Oh wait.... the kids probably have to pee...

     Me: Wait, kids, before you get comfortable, let's go to the potty and then we can come back and have a snack and then you can play.
     Daughter: Sure!
     Son: NO!   <<firmly hold son's arm and walk to bathroom>>
     (In bathroom)
     Me: Okay [son] it's time to try to go to the bathroom.
     Son: NO!
     Me: Okay, let's go in here <<taking off diaper and hold him in front of toilet>>
     Son: NO, I wanted to go in THAT bathroom!! <<son starts flailing body and writhing as though in pain>>
     Me:<<Trying to keep his now naked bum off the floor>> Okaaaaaaaay, let's go over to that one....  <<holding him up as much as possible while his shorts are down around his legs, maneuvering to the adjacent stall>>
     Son: NO! I have to take my clothes off!
     Me: No, we don't need to take off all of our clothes to use the bathroom.  Please keep them on.  We're in a public restroom.
     Son: No!  I have to take off my shoes!
     Me: No, there is probably pee on the floor.  Please keep your shoes on.  <<son starts screaming; I proceed to put him on the toilet seat and take off his shorts and sandals>>
     Son:  Okay.  Now I'm done.
     Me:   You're finished? You have no pee?  After all of that?  After I finally took off your shorts and sandals??
     Son:  I'm done.  Get me off.  <<Son jumps off toilet, bare feet on the floor, making efforts to keep his feet clean completely useless>>

Shorts on. Sandals on.  Wash hands.  Gather belongings.  Head back to play area.

....THEN:

That's it.  I'm done.  I'm exhausted.  I just want to shrivel up and look at Facebook on my phone and pretend I have no kids for a few minutes (except that I'm rifling through my diaper bag looking for a nursing cover because baby girl is crying and wiggling and needing to eat).

And that's when he comes in.  Nathan.  Yes, Nathan.  Remember him?  The one in charge of the car.  He tells me the car needs new brake pads.  What? I say. He repeats himself.  I try to remember what it's like to think coherently about something other than diapers and toilets and nursing babies, but the thoughts don't come.  I try asking questions to give me more time to screw my head on, but it's not working.  Yes, I tell him.  YES?  What did I just say yes to?  Yes, he says, do the brakes, then?  Sure, I say.  He quickly turns and walks away and I feel like crumbling.  What did I just do? I just agreed to a $600+ service to our car without carefully thinking it through.

I want to make people sign a waiver when I go in a place like a car service center or anywhere else that large sums of money might potentially be exchanged.  I want it to say something like,

I hereby recognize the inability of this mother to make sound financial decisions at this time and waive my right to charge her anything more than $100.  If (insert name of company here) feels it is in the best interest of this client/mother to purchase (insert expensive service here), we promise to print out all applicable information and will give 24 hours for her to make an informed decision.  

Signed, (potential benefactor-of-my-money)

Wouldn't that be great?  If only.  I wish exhaustion didn't make it so hard to formulate coherent thought.  Feeling really thankful that, for the most part, the only store I have to frequent is one that sells groceries.  Usually the most damage I can do there is buying an unnecessary gallon of ice cream.

FOE elastic baby rompers

After making a few PUL diaper covers a month or so ago, I realized that I hadn't been creative enough about my fold over elastic.  I had yards and yards of it sitting around waiting to be used for girls headbands.  The problem is that I have, for the most part, stopped making girls headbands.  When I made the diaper cover I realized what an awesome invention FOE was--think stretchy binding!  It's like the lazy-sewers way to finish an edge stitch and make it stretchy all at the same time.  It's amazing.  Truly amazing.

It was a great revelation at a great time, because I have found myself in need of more bottoms for my daughter.  She seems to have a wide array of tops, but no bottoms.  It's always great when you realize that you have all the pieces to make what you need already amongst your craft supplies.  I had this wonderful wide, soft, elastic that I had bought online for making cute skirts that I never got around to using.  I also have a lot of random fabric (including old jeans), and a ton of fold over elastic.  Voila!  The biggest problem was making up a pattern.  I probably could have found something online, but I didn't look... I used almost the entirety of one pair of old (hol-y) maternity jeans before finally giving up and just cutting material for a romper.  I made two, but then decided I'd try again for something more interesting and made some pants.   At least now I figured out what I'm doing, so the next ones won't be so hard. ;-)  

Making Monsters

Where has the time gone?  Three months since my last post?  It would seem that resolving to write posts more often doesn't necessarily result in more posts.  Go figure.

The kids and I were crafting some monsters today made from Costco pretzel containers.  I've been saving the containers in the hopes that I would envision some ingenious craft that would amaze everyone--including myself.  Sadly, that never happened.  So, why wait around filling your house with random pieces of potential-crafting items when you could simply use them for a sub-par crafting project that will not only expand the space in your home but somehow delight your children (despite its lack of amazingness)...?  Right.  That's what I thought.

So, here you have it.  Our monsters.  This could be a great Valentine's box.  Of course, Valentine's Day is five months away, and I'm not sure that these monsters will last one week let alone five months.  As it is, my kids just think it's great to fill them with toys they find.  For some reason this brings them great joy.  And that's wonderful.  Because, some of these crafting things have been sitting around for a year hoping to be used.  I would resolve to craft more often, but obviously we know what little comes of my resolutions.

To make:

plastic container

exacto knife (or scissors, or whatever you can cut the plastic with)

paint (I used acrylic)

cardboard for the feet

construction paper 

felt

ribbon (for bows)

yarn for hair (though I'm sure there are better ways to do their hair)

and...most important.... googly eyes!

Making Hash Browns and Learning About Process

It had been on my mind for weeks to make hash browns.  I kept seeing recipes calling them delicious and delectable, crunchy and satisfying.  Though I'd never been particularly fond of them in the past, I suddenly had an urge to try my hand at making this side dish that others found so tasty.  It helped that I had a few potatoes in the pantry that needed a recipe to call their own.  With an unexpected quiet time yesterday afternoon while three of my four children slept, I started grating potatoes.

I love to eat.  I also really enjoy making the food I eat.  Or at least, I used to find it enjoyable--before I had children.  Now I have less time and more interruptions and cooking is something I often loathe.  Really?  We have to eat dinner *every day*?  Who says?

Because I have learned that daily dinner means daily dirty dishes, I often make a point to double or triple a recipe.  Since my kind husband doesn't mind having leftovers (and my children simply don't know any different), I usually get away with only cooking half the week and having left overs the rest of the week.  It's wonderful.  Truly.

Sometimes, though, a recipe does not lend itself to doubling.  I want to believe that all I have to do is multiply the ingredients, but sometimes that's just not the case.  Yesterday, I got out the largest skillet I own (which is *huge*) and put in all the potatoes I had--four.  The recipe called for two.  And, truth be told, the recipe called for two normal sized potatoes, and mine were like twice the size of a regular potato since, well, that's just how they come in the 20lb. bag from Costco.  I suppose it's more efficient to pack fewer big potatoes into the bag than a whole bunch of small ones.  Way to keep things efficient, Costco.

But, I digress.  The point is, I was practically quadrupling the recipe.  The grated potato was supposed to be sprinkled at the bottom of a buttered skillet and left to cook until brown on one side, and then turned over to cook on the other side.  My grated potato did a wonderful job of cooking on the bottom, but the moment I tried "turning them over" I realized that my dream of deliciously crunchy hash browns was definitely not going to come true.  At least, not with those potatoes.

There were far too many pieces of potato to simply "turn" them over, and very quickly I was left with a mixture of about 1/4 cooked, brown, crunchy potato and 3/4 not-at-all cooked, soggy, non-edible potatoes.  What was supposed to take about 10 minutes of baking time took half an hour, and I was pretty much left with what could be considered extremely buttery mashed potatoes that, with some bites, had a slight crunch to them.

I decided I should be more particular about which recipes I try to double (or quadruple for that matter).  But I also decided this was a great metaphor for some parts of my life.

For how many years, and in how many situations, have I tried to get to my "end goal" through short cuts?  I have a beautiful picture of how I want life to be, but I often try to get to it haphazardly and with little care for the process.  It's not surprising that when I screw up the recipe, I don't get the same results I was looking for.  Know what I mean?

 I can't expect things to work out just like I hoped when I am sloppy and careless about how I get there.  I'm thankful that God has been gracious to bless me even in the times when I've been undeserving and "sloppy" in my process.  And I'm glad to know that even as I strive to be a better runner in this race set before me, He will always forgive me when I stumble.

The Mystery of the Cowlick

Simple Angry Bird mini cupcakes

I was really disappointed recently when I looked up Angry Bird cupcakes to get ideas for my son's upcoming sixth birthday.  There were a ton of awesome fondant ones.... but I don't have any experience with fondant!  And we just moved 1200 miles less than a month ago, so let's just say I don't have a lot of extra time to learn a new food art.  Honestly, I barely have time to get the laundry done amidst all of the moving-across-country logistics.

I wanted a regular cupcake but with something reminiscent of Angry Birds on top.  No, I didn't want anything complicated, but I did want something that looked better than a flat face of a bird on top of a cupcake, and so far that's all I'd found online.  Even on Pinterest!  Can you believe it!? (Besides, of course, the really amazing fondant ones.  But, heck, there's always next year.)

I am luckily in the time of year for candy corn and carmel candy corn with orange ends act as great beaks.  And mini m&ms are perfect eyes, right?  Or at least, yummy ones.

So, here's what I did:

1) First cut the brown ends off your candy corn.  There's a few reasons I did this.  You can try without, but I'm pretty sure it won't work if you leave them with the bigger/longer ends.

2)  Bake some yummy cupcakes!  I used a white cake recipe and added almond extract, which I also did to the icing just to give it a nice flavor.  Simple!

3) Make some buttercream frosting and then add your colors!

4) At this point, you have all your materials ready, so get to decorating!  Once you ice your birds, be sure to decorate them quickly before the buttercream gets harder.  Buttercream will always stay "soft", but it *will* develop a nice top coat and you want to make sure you get your things stuck in before that happens.  I would suggest working on one group at a time so you don't end up missing your window of opportunity. :-)

5) Though they are pretty simple Angry Birds, I would recommend at least putting some angry eyebrows on them.  But, as my daughter pointed out, there are NO eyebrows on the blue birds.  Which ended up working out for me since I didn't have much space for them. ;-P  But if you play the game, you'll know why I had to make three of all the blue birds.... :-)

And then you're finished!  They are super yummy, not tricky, and at least to some degree resemble Angry Birds.  Or at least, I think so!  The real test will be when the birthday boy sees them and if he a) responds in joyful glee that I made Angry Bird cupcakes! or if he b) says to me despairingly, "it looks like you tried to make Angry Bird cupcakes, but they don't really look like Angry Birds...."

PS--I tried making the yellow ones in a square formation at the bottom when I was piping.  Didn't work out so well.  But I am really not very good at piping icing, so maybe others of you will have better luck!!  (Since the yellow one is more of a pyramid shape, not a circle/oval)

UPDATE!!

Upon seeing the cupcakes, my son told me that we could definitely give the blue ones to his friends, but not the red ones or the yellow ones.  "If my friends saw them they would laugh and say, 'those aren't Angry Birds--they have no feathers!'"  He instructed me to put brown feathers on the tops of their heads and on their backs.  Of course, I had to oblige.  Here's the updated picture:

Christians and Life: On the Topic of Abortion...

My heart has been breaking lately, seeing articles like this one about Kermit Gosnell's trial...the grotesque images of what happened in his clinic in Philadelphia...  My mind has been on those tiny hands and feet of each of those lives he cut off from this world.

This won't be a long post, but I just wanted to share a question... Something my mind has been pondering for a long time, and perhaps something you should be asking too.  Yes, those of us who are "pro-life", we are waging war, but I wonder if we haven't had something to do with how far this war has come.

This question is for Christians--those people claiming to follow Christ, to live as he lived and who are called to seek his will.

Has this war come to such a front because we have lost the value of life?  

Oh yes, we quote our Scripture that talks about its holiness and uniqueness.  I do not mean to say that we don't know what our faith teaches.  We do know.  And His Spirit in us reminds us of the preciousness of our own life and those of others...

But our lives are busy.  Cluttered.  We are consumed with bettering our selves and our children.  Consumed with the newest fads and latest technology.  We have more to think about and do than ever before.  Our lives are like a whirlwind blowing from one locale to the next.

Is it right for us to live in America and preach our choice--our choice to live in what manner we want, and yet to point fingers at others and tell them that in this particular area, they can't?  They can prioritize choice in anything they want, except this.  In all other ways, god is self.  But in this one, no, our God says "don't kill the babies."

Yes, I am pointing the finger at you.  And me.  All of us.  We write, we talk, we live day to day going from one choice to the next.  I'd wager a guess that more of our Facebook statuses are about the choices we've made, will make, or are unsure about making, than we do about how highly we value our lives.

We've done it.  We, too, have accepted the lie that choice is King.  We cannot fight the battle of abortion on choice.  We do not choose when life starts.  God already did.  We cannot choose if it's important. God has already made it so.

Our battle is in the value.  But it's no surprise the war has gotten as far as it has, because we have been confused... we have thought it was of choice.

What if we started to live like we really valued life?  Ours.  Theirs.  Everyone's.  What if I valued life itself, this gift--this amazing thing that God has given that enables me to live and move and have my being--higher than I value choice.  I wonder how this war would change.  I wonder if eyes that were blind would see.  I wonder if we would change, and let go of our hold on choice as King, and let our Savior reign instead--breathing in joy and thankfulness for the simple things--of life and love, and of the true JOY it can bring when we savor it.

In essence:  We won't show them God by telling them what the Bible says.  We will show them how God values life when we value it.  1 John 3:18, "let us love not with words or speech but with actions and in truth."