Overcome With Fear

It was already 86 degrees as I pulled out of the driveway, ready for the adventure ahead.  My hope was to hit five stores before my youngest two would need their afternoon naps.  Of course, none of the stores were nearby, so first we had to drive the 45 minutes to get there.  

I felt like supermom as a stood in line at Sam's Club for my receipt to be checked--four stores down and only one quick stop to go.  In fact, this stop was on the way home, so it almost felt like we were done for the day.  And it was not yet 2; we were doing great on time!  My two oldest children were happily slurping their quickly melting vanilla ice creams (as, by then, the temperature was up to 95) and I was feeling uber accomplished.  At the last stop, things went even better than expected and I hopped into the car delighted, but by now, equally exhausted.  As we headed out of this neighboring town to finally trek home, my 4 year old son and I noticed some ominous weather approaching.  It was about time we got some rain, I thought.

Rain indeed.  And thunder.  And lightning.  And worst of all, wind.

When we first moved to Indiana, my oldest was intrigued by the tornado siren.  We had moved from Boston, so he was very familiar with loud noises--people, traffic, subways and emergency vehicles.  But this siren was something "other", and he very much wanted to understand it.  My son has a wondering mind like his father's, and so he wouldn't let it rest until he could understand the concept of a tornado.  My explanations insufficient, we finally went to YouTube.  This was my undoing.  Since then, over a year ago, my son has been deathly afraid of tornadoes.  At the sound of the tornado siren, even simply on days when they are just testing the alarm, he goes into mass hysterics.  He insists that we all run to the basement (which, by the way, is ill fit for general habitation, as it is crawling with bugs and walls covered in webs), and hide there until the danger has passed.  Many times it takes me a quarter of an hour just to calm him down and help him see that it was simply a test, and that with a clear blue sky, there certainly would not be a tornado.

It's one thing to calm him down when the sky is a beautiful shade of blue; it's another to calm him down when we are in the heart of the storm, protected only by the walls of our Toyota Rav4.  Suddenly, my ability to control the car was coming into question, just as I saw huge swirls of dust and gravel flying from a nearby driveway.  The rain had gone from a plop to a torrent in all of one minute and the wind was moving nearby trees as if it was just doing a simple test of the durability of their root systems.  I was afraid.  It's overwhelming to be afraid when your four year old is already terrified.  Three rows back he was screaming as if his life depended on it--"WILL WE BE SAFE?!  IS IT A TORNADO?!  ARE WE OKAY?!  WILL WE BE SAFE?!"  His siblings were crying too, probably more because of the horrified shrieks of their brother than anything else.  I was exhausted.  I had gone from a wonderful supermom high to a terrified low too quickly to deal with my emotions.  I, too, started crying.  But as the car was pushed one way and then the other by the wind, I straightened up and pushed that fear down.  We needed to get home.  Now.  And there was only one thing for it: pray.  Over and over again  when my son yelled to me at night because he was afraid of the dark, I'd go to his room and tell him, "Be strong, and of good courage, for the Lord your God is with you WHEREVER you go."  (paraphrase Joshua 1:9)  I even made him a bracelet to wear at night that says, "God is always with me."

That was it.  That's what we had to do.  So, over the top of my screaming and crying children, I started to pray.  And I just kept praying.  Strong and fast, my voice cried to the Father for protection and comfort in the storm.  My son yelled, "Will it work?!  Will that keep us safe?!  Will God keep us safe?!"  I just kept praying.  I didn't even stop to answer him.  But soon, he grew quiet.  In fact, I realized, all the kids were quiet.  There were only the sounds of the raging storm and my voice, almost like we were battling for a victory.  If indeed it was a battle, I knew that I wanted to win.  So, I kept praying, loud and continuos, giving thanks for every new road we reached on our way home.  We were almost home when I started to feel a sense of relief, that we had made it.  That feeling quickly dissipated as we met one huge tree across the road, and then another.  For a moment I wondered if we had gotten so close, only to find that every road to our house was blocked.  On went the prayer until finally, finally, 

we pulled into our driveway.  My son screamed, "Get me out! Get me inside!"  As quickly as I could, I rushed him inside.  Then back again for the next kid.  And then once more.  At last, we were all inside.

I wanted to slump on the floor in relief, snuggling my children and thanking our Lord.  My four year old, though, had different thoughts.  To him, we may have been home, but we weren't out of danger.  He was shocked that I took off my wet sandals.  And even more surprised to hear me say that I was going to put his younger sister in bed, upstairs, for a nap.  "But how will you get her in time if there's a tornado?  And how will you put your shoes on in time?  There won't be enough time mom!!  We have to go downstairs NOW!"  Much to his terror, I disregarded his concerns and carried his sister upstairs.  I just wanted a chance to breathe.

I was so thankful to see a glimmer of light through the window as I came back downstairs.  Quickly, I rushed my son to the window--See that?  See that?!  It's light!  The light is coming!  The storm is over!  You do not have to be afraid anymore!

It took some persuading, but I could see his face finally hint at a smile.  At last.  The calm. 

We took a walk in the evening to see the damage that had been done.  One of the trees that had fallen across the road had in fact broken through the fence below it, and even cracked the sidewalk.  As I looked at the debris, I thanked God again, that He kept us safe and brought us home.

The Grass Withers....

We've had a dry start to summer here; I see brown in all directions.  We hope for rain, but so far, not much has fallen.  The land is dry and hard.  The grass crunches as I walk on it.  Yet, the flora press onwards.  Those plants that are able to weather the drought continue in their process of growth and repopulation.  One plant is a favorite of my husbands.  He loves the form the seedlings take just before they are whisked away to new ground.

Isaiah 40 verse 8 says, "The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever."

My daughter, the spy-in-training

Yes, I am the proud parent of a spy-in-training.  What, you don't believe it?  Why not?  Do you not think my children competent, capable and talented human beings?  Is it that I could not have produced such suave and masterful offspring?

Or is it possibly because the oldest of my children is a meager four years old?

Well, I'll have you know that I have the pictures to prove it.... my newly-turned two year old is training hard to become proficient in being covert....

Here's the trainer getting ready for the session...

And she's off--obstacle course ahead!

"Oh yeah, that was nothin'"

and now, to avoid getting captured...

"Lost him.  No problem!"

 Training an agent sure is hard work!

i [heart] my orchid

My husband surprised me this past weekend and bought me a digital single lens reflex camera (DSLR).  I own a film SLR but haven't used it in almost 5 years.  It became difficult to spend money on film developing when I could use our point and shoot digital camera without those same tremendous costs.  My film SLR has been collecting dust in the cabinet while I've gone on, pining for a DSLR.

I'm still amazed that I own such a camera, but, I figure I might as well get some photos taken before the dream fades away, right?  So, today while all the kids were upstairs for 20 minutes in their respective rooms, I grabbed the camera and my favorite flower for a little photo shoot.  My ode to the orchid. :)

 Aren't those zig zags crazy? I just love the interesting patterns that God creates in nature!

Cheesecake Tart

My sweet-tooth was at it again over the weekend and I concocted another dessert worth sharing.  Here's the recipe should you feel like trying it yourself.  It's basically just a shortened cheesecake.  The benefits?  Won't sit in your stomach like a full piece of cheesecake, but still as delicious and beautiful. :)

Cheesecake Tart:

Pastry:

1 1/4c. flour
1/4c. sugar
1/2c. cold butter
2 beaten egg yolks
1 TBS cold water


1) Stir together flour and sugar.  With a pastry blender, add cold butter until pieces are pea-sized.

2) In another bowl, mix egg yolks and water.  Gradually add egg mixture to flour mixture.

3) Gently knead the dough until a ball forms.  Then, cover the dough and refrigerate it for 30-60 minutes.

4) Roll out dough and carefully (without stretching) move pastry to tart pan.

Cheesecake Filling:

2 1/2 packages (20 oz) cream cheese, softened
1/2 c. sugar
1 tsp. vanilla
2 eggs

1) Mix cream cheese, sugar and vanilla with electric mixer on medium speed until well blended.

2) Add eggs, one at a time.  Mix until just blended.  Pour over tart pastry.

Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes or until center is almost set.  Cool.  Refrigerate 3 hours or overnight.

For a phenomenal look and taste, serve with strawberries and drizzle with chocolate raspberry sauce. (MMMMM!)

Thomas the Train Preschool Valentine's Box

My older son came home with a note from his teachers last week asking us to find a box for our child's Valentine's cards.  It was pretty ambiguous as to whether we were supposed to not only find the box but also DECORATE the box.... guess that part didn't matter?  I did think it mattered, since the difference between an ugly brown shoe box and a decorated brown shoe box is embarrassment worthy.  So, I walked into his preschool drop off yesterday fully intending to solve this dilemma. When I arrived, I saw the teacher showing the students a [fully decorated] box that another child had already completed and brought in.  Guess that answered that question.

Glad that I didn't send that brown box into school with my son.  This morning, I set him to work decorating.  But, as is the case with everything these days, he wanted the box to look like Thomas the Tank Engine.  This is always a frustrating situation, because he can't make Thomas himself.  Yet, nothing less than a recognizable copy of Thomas would suffice.  And so, despite what possible disappointment might come from his teachers (who presumably wanted the CHILD to do most of the work in this project), I set to work.  

To be honest, we don't even have construction paper in the house.  I dared not go to Walmart, though, the Saturday before the Super Bowl unless absolutely necessary.  So, the more expensive cardstock I had on hand for scrapbooking would do.  It made me cringe slightly to see it Elmers-glued onto a brown shoe box by a 4 year old who doesn't even realize what textured cardstock is....but, just add it to the long list of hardships parents endure on behalf of loving their kids....

As with any project like this, there were problems.  Nothing major, at least, nothing major to me.  My son was dead set on wheels that could move, and so we went through the time-consuming work of making axels, carving holes, and measuring the wheels space.  Of course, I'm not engineer, and so when we finally attached the wheels, I realized they were too high up on the box to actually be used correctly.  My son was not understanding.  Obviously, I needed to take it apart and make it right.  Um, no.  It took me over an hour just to make them the wrong way, I'm not about to spend that much time doing it over again, just for a preschool Valentine's box.  He was not happy.

He got over it, though, as the project took more shape and Thomas got his face.  It's amazing what putting a face on a train does for a boy...  Something I will never understand.  Oh, and the number one, of course.  That was a necessary finishing touch.  It's certainly not perfect (as I'm sure my son would explain to you all the flaws), but at least it's good enough.  I just hope it can keep its shape long enough to be used for its purpose--holding everyone's Valentine's card come February 14th.... Only time will tell!

 We cut out a hole to put the cards in!

The Boots....At Last!

I set out to start crocheting about a month ago.  In a short period of time, it took over my thoughts and free time.  Actually, it took over a lot of my not-so-free-time too.  The dishes, the laundry, the grocery shopping, and even the children, were at times ignored so that I could pursue the craft.  The past week and a half in particular was overrun with crocheting.  Working that needle in and out, and in and out, only to undo hours of work because I hadn't done things just right.  I wouldn't necessarily recommend doing a somewhat tricky project with no instructions after only learning the art recently, but this is a case of do-what-I-say-not-what-I-do.

I am happy to report that my crocheted boots are [mostly] finished.... at last!  I say mostly because it is my utmost desire to put a rubber sole on these so that I can wear them outside "around town."  Of course, the secrets of soling shoes seem to be well-guarded and thus I have had an extremely difficult time trying to figure out how to do such a thing, and in particular, where to procure the products.  But, as of about an hour ago, I think I have some promising leads in that area.  I hope they will be soled within the week.  In the meantime, I guess I will just have to sit and pine over my awesome boots.  I don't want to wear them, since I'd like to keep the crocheted soles as dirt-free as possible to prepare them for rubber soling.  Yet, after about 30 hours (!!!!) of work, I long to enjoy the fruits of my labor....

So, here are some glimpses of my effort.  And for those of you who don't do any needle crafts, please, please, don't think I have done anything amazing here.  If you want amazing, look here: http://osbornfiber.com/.  Now that is amazing work.  What I have done here is clumsily crochet my way through something that for experts, would probably have taken less than a day to complete.   I like to think that once I'm more proficient, it will take me 1/3 of the time.  We'll see.

Today I'll be spraying the boots with a couple coats of water repellent made especially for fabric, again, so that they will be fit for outdoor use.  Let's hope all goes well.  And after that, it will just be waiting until I can get my longed-for rubber soling sheets..... oh the anticipation is killing me!